Monday, September 28, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
ROB ZOMBIES HALLOWEEN 2 REVIEW!
WHAT THE FUCK!!!? AND I THOUGHT HALLOWEEN 1 WAS A PIECE OF SHIT! THE SEQUEL TO ROB ZOMBIES FIRST ATTEMPT IS PROBABLY THE WORST FILM I'VE SEEN IN A LONG TIME. WITH WHOPPER IN HAND I ALMOST LOST MY APPETITE ...THANK GOD I FINISHED THE SANGWICH IN THE FIRST 5 MINUTES. THIS FILM LOOKS LIKE IT WAS MADE BY A HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT, FLASHBACKS, JAPANESE STYLE HORROR, CHICKS IN ANGELIC DRESSES RIDING WHITE HORSES....WOW!. ROB ZOMBIE GIVE IT UP ALREADY YOU DESTROYED THE MICHAEL MYERS CHARACTER MAKING HIM LOOK LIKE A GIANT HOMELESS SCUMBAG (WITH GROANING AND ALL), AND YOU MADE THE DR. LOOMIS CHARACTER FREAKIN' ARROGANT WITH A HUGE EGO. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? FUCKIN' LOSER...ANOTHER UNNECESSARY REMAKE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME OR MOOLAH
NOT EVEN FOR A LAUGH.
I GIVE THIS WASTE ZERO SARDINES OUTTA FIVE ...THAT'S A FIRST PEOPLE..
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Friday, September 18, 2009
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
R.I.P. PATRICK SWAYZE
LOS ANGELES – Patrick Swayze personified a particular kind of masculine grace both on and off screen, from his roles in films like "Dirty Dancing" and "Ghost" to the way he carried himself in his long fight with pancreatic cancer. Swayze died from the illness on Monday in Los Angeles, his publicist said. He was 57.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
MICHAEL JACKSON "THIS IS IT" POSTER
SHORTLY AFTER HIS PASSING we learned that an enormous amount of footage had been captured of Michael Jackson rehearsing for his comeback tour. Even though those concerts can not happen now, said rehearsal material has been folded into a theatrical presentation that'll hit screens 'round the end of October.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
STEVIE STABONES "C.N.E" EXPERIENCE
SO I TOOK MY TWO LITTLE CUZINS' TO THE EX LAST WEEK 'CAUSE THE LITTLE SHITS WERE CRYING AND BEGGIN' AND DERE PARENTS ARE A COUPLE OF DOUCHE BAGS SO INSTEAD OF ME BEATING THE KIDS SENSELESS I TOOK EM FOR SOM GOOD 'OL FASHION FUN AT THE "C.N.E" AKA DA EX.TO BE HONEST I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT DA C.N.E. AND THERE OVERPRICED ADMISSION AND LONG FREAKIN' LINES BUT STILL THE FREAKIN' CORN DOGS AND BACON ON DA BUN KEEPS ME GOING BACK.
LAST YEARS WHEN I WENTS TO THE EX THE THING THAT INTERESTED ME THE MOST WAS THE SCIENTOLOGIST BOOTH. WHAT A FREAK SHOW, THEY HAD THIS DEVICE THAT THEY STUCK TO YOUR HEAD, ARMPITS AND BALLS THAT TESTED YOU FOR STRESS. THE FUNNY PART WASN'T THIS MACHINE IT WAS THE TWO CREEPY DUDES WHO MADE JASON VORHEES LOOK NORMAL.
ANYWAYS THEY WEREN'T THERE THIS YEAR WHICH WAS A SHAME BUT THERE WAS A YOUNG SCIENTOLOGIST OUTSIDE THE GATES OF THE EX GIVING OUT PROPAGANDA.
SO WE ATE A TON OF FOOD PLAYED SOME GAMES WENT ON SOME RIDES AND WITNESSED PROBABLY ONE OF DA BEST TREE DEE SHOWS EVER AND 200 DOLLARS LATER WE WENT HOME.
I GIVE DIS C.N.E EXPERIENCE 3 SARDINES OUTTA 5
LAST YEARS WHEN I WENTS TO THE EX THE THING THAT INTERESTED ME THE MOST WAS THE SCIENTOLOGIST BOOTH. WHAT A FREAK SHOW, THEY HAD THIS DEVICE THAT THEY STUCK TO YOUR HEAD, ARMPITS AND BALLS THAT TESTED YOU FOR STRESS. THE FUNNY PART WASN'T THIS MACHINE IT WAS THE TWO CREEPY DUDES WHO MADE JASON VORHEES LOOK NORMAL.
ANYWAYS THEY WEREN'T THERE THIS YEAR WHICH WAS A SHAME BUT THERE WAS A YOUNG SCIENTOLOGIST OUTSIDE THE GATES OF THE EX GIVING OUT PROPAGANDA.
SO WE ATE A TON OF FOOD PLAYED SOME GAMES WENT ON SOME RIDES AND WITNESSED PROBABLY ONE OF DA BEST TREE DEE SHOWS EVER AND 200 DOLLARS LATER WE WENT HOME.
I GIVE DIS C.N.E EXPERIENCE 3 SARDINES OUTTA 5
BECAUSE THE SCIENTOLOGISTS BOOTH WASN'T THERE.
RAMBO 5 SYNOPSIS
I WOULD OF PREFERRED THE CHARLES BRONSON STYLE REMAKE "MR. MAJESTYK" BUT STILL NOT BAD
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Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Stabones Review Inglorious Bastards
Hey guys i know it's been awhile since i last reviewed something personally but i had stuff to do...good stuff. Anyways i went to go watch inglorious bastards tonight with some buddies. First off i love Tarantino's movies cause he's got the italian last name and Pulp Fiction i thinks is a freakin' masterpiece and bastards ain't too far off. The dialogues in this movie was fantastico and the over the top violence reminds me of my days in cheektown. That's all i gotta say.
5 SARDINES OUTTA 5
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Lionsgate Sets KICK-ASS For April 16th, 2010; Moves THE EXPENDABLES To August!
Just a few minutes ago, Christopher Mintz-Plasse tweeted along the news that Lionsgate has settled on a release date for Matthew Vaughn's much-anticipated KICK-ASS. April 16th, 2009! This checks out with Lionsgate's official Twitter feed (which I wasn't following prior to a minute ago), which also announced that Sylvester Stallone's all-star action extravaganza, THE EXPENDABLES, has moved from April to August 20th, 2010.
Both moves make sense to me. KICK-ASS is a modestly-budgeted franchise starter that could catch fire in a non-competitive April, when comic book fans will be looking for some superhero action to tide them over until IRON MAN 2. And THE EXPENDABLES feels like that perfect, end-of-the-summer blast that should play strongly through Labor Day weekend - if it's as insane and wonderful as I think it's going to be.
The biggest April opening on record is 2009's FAST AND FURIOUS, which did a healthy $70 million. As for films opening in the middle of the month, SCARY MOVIE 4 scored $40 million over the April 14th weekend in 2004, while THE SCORPION KING somehow raked in $36 million over the April 19th frame in 2002. KICK-ASS will be speeding its way toward profit if it throws up an opening weekend number anywhere in this range.
Both moves make sense to me. KICK-ASS is a modestly-budgeted franchise starter that could catch fire in a non-competitive April, when comic book fans will be looking for some superhero action to tide them over until IRON MAN 2. And THE EXPENDABLES feels like that perfect, end-of-the-summer blast that should play strongly through Labor Day weekend - if it's as insane and wonderful as I think it's going to be.
The biggest April opening on record is 2009's FAST AND FURIOUS, which did a healthy $70 million. As for films opening in the middle of the month, SCARY MOVIE 4 scored $40 million over the April 14th weekend in 2004, while THE SCORPION KING somehow raked in $36 million over the April 19th frame in 2002. KICK-ASS will be speeding its way toward profit if it throws up an opening weekend number anywhere in this range.
