Friday, May 30, 2008
Amazonian tribe?
Although we do not know the name of the recently discovered tribe in Brazil, or what language they speak, it is possible to tease out some clues as to their way of life from the aerial photographs taken by the Brazilian government. Fiona Watson, from the campaign group Survival International, uses her experience gained during 20 years of visiting the region, to explain what the pictures may show.
MALOCAS
Malocas, or communal houses, are typically thatched. They often have fires, used for cooking or heating during the night. Smaller structures are used for cooking and other tasks, while larger buildings can be used as sleeping areas, and are usually equipped with hammocks.
The thatched roof does not reach to the ground suggesting that this is an area for communal activities including cooking, socialising or preparing the paste that is used for dyes and body paint.
COTTON AND BASKET
The white blob in the photograph could well be cotton, and the beige area next to it is probably a basket. The cotton would either be cultivated by the tribe, or gathered in the wild. It would be woven by the women, into the kind of short skirt worn by the black figure. Cotton would also be used to make hammocks.
The woven basket has a strap which would be either worn across the forehead or over the shoulder and would be used during the collection of cotton or other produce.
TWO MEN
These men are trying to drive off the plane from which these photographs were taken. They are aiming their bows at the aircraft, which had returned to fly over the settlement for a second time, after making a first pass some hours earlier.
The men have large bows made from forest hardwood, which they use to hunt for animals including tapirs, monkeys, deer, wild pigs and other small mammals.
They have also painted themselves with the red dye, urucum, commonly used by tribes in the Amazon. It is made from the seeds of a fruit similar to the horse chestnut. The seeds are ground into a paste to form the dye.
The body paint is most likely a show of aggression, possibly in response to the plane's first flyover.
WOMAN
The black figure may be a woman, although it is impossible to be certain. That this person is not carrying a bow hints in this direction. The black body paint is called genipapo, and is made from fruit. Like the red dye it is likely to be an aggressive display.
SETTLEMENT
The series of buildings have very little space cleared around them, and are set deep into the forest. This suggests that the tribe are keen to keep themselves hidden.
The larger building is most likely used for sleeping quarters, the smaller buildings would be used for food preparation, cooking and other practical tasks.
The surrounding area has signs of cultivation by the tribe, who are probably maintaining gardens of manioc, a type of tuber which would form a large part of their staple diet.
Capone Recommends Hanging Out With THE STRANGERS!!
Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.
If you believe Hollywood these days (and why the hell wouldn't you?), then America's number one fear is not terrorists or space monsters or the living dead or any number of natural disasters. Nope, Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe's top fear is a random act of violence perpetrated against them either while they're on a road trip/vacation or in their own home. This isn't exactly news.
Films like THE HILLS HAVE EYES and even THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE cover the worst of what can happen while you're exploring this great land of ours. While more recent films like HIGH TENSION and FUNNY GAMES have explored more homegrown fear mongering. Last year, a truly terrifying (and largely bloodless) French film called THEM was released in this country, and it scared the wee-wee out of me. Later this summer, a movie called BAGHEAD analyzes these kinds of horror films in a fairly unique manner. The new film THE STRANGERS (said to be based on a true story) is cut from the same cloth as these works: a couple ends up in a isolated cabin in the woods, are practically scared to death by noises and lights and attempt to fight back and/or escape.
A movie about the prospect of a home invasion is hardly a new concept, but there is something darker, colder and more sinister about this new crop. These killers aren't evil monsters; they are just normal people, bored and looking for something to do. They are Class A assholes, to whom motivation means nothing. Their motivation is that they feel like it, and what could be scarier than that?
THE STRANGERS follows James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler) who have just had a terrible evening at a wedding reception and seem on the verge of breaking up. They just begin to discuss their problems when a knock comes at the door. They answer it, and a young woman whose face is obscured by the dark asks "Is Tamara there?" They tell her she has the wrong house and send her on her way. Speedman leaves to buy cigarettes, and then the knocking starts again; other sounds also come from inside and outside the house and by the time he returns, Kristen is a nervous wreck.
Soon we begin to see figures and masked faces. Since I didn't know exactly how this story would play out, it did cross my mind that these three offenders were simply trying to scare the crap out of this helpless couple, but we don't get off that easily. Speedman and Tyler are both good-looking, but more importantly, they're both decent actors who never let us doubt for a second that these two are scared and confused as to why they were picked and how this evening will play out for them. First-time feature director Bryan Bertino impressed the hell out of me with the tools he uses to build tension. Sure, sometimes the evildoers seem to know a little too well what the couple's next move is going to be, but most of the time, the story seems far too plausible and the scares are well earned.
I'm not sure THE STRANGERS qualifies as a cautionary tale, since neither of these victims could be accused of doing anything that could be called "risky behavior." If anything, the film's message could be that it doesn't matter how safely you lead your life, or how much money you have or don't have or how many resources you have at your disposal because your life is just as easy to fuck with as anybody else's. The world isn't necessarily a dangerous place; but it is a place where the worst kind of behavior is random. THE STRANGERS has its flaws, but they are small. And my only real rule when it comes to scary movies is that they must scare me. This one did, and it did it without tricks. I respect that, and recommend this very strong little thriller.
Capone
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Monday, May 26, 2008
RAW CRITIC'S INDIANA JONES REVIEW
I USUALLY GET UPSET WITH CERTAIN THINGS...WHEN MY DATE DOESN'T PUT OUT OR I RUN OUT OF SARDINES AND BALONEY WHEN I ALREADY HAVE THE WONDER BREAD SPREAD WITH MUSTARD LAYED OUT ON THE COUNTER...AND NOW I GOT TO DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT! I WENT OVER TO THE LOCAL THEATRE TODAY TO CATCH THE NEW INDIANA JONES FLICK. I WAS EXCITED TO SEE THIS FLICK BECAUSE I AM A HUGE FAN OF THE TRILOGY. THE FEW GOOD MEMORIES I HAVE OF MY POPS IS OF HIM TAKING ME TO THE THEATRE TO WATCH RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK - GREAT FUCKIN' MOVIE! I HAD A GUT FEELING THIS FILM WOULD BLOW...SEEING THAT GEORGE LUCAS FUCKED THE WHOLE STAR WARS TRILOGY UP WITH HIS TREE DIMENSIONAL BULLSHIT...WHO NEEDS TREE DIMENSIONS OVER HERE? IF I WANT TO LIVE IN A TREE DIMENSIONAL WORLD I'D BANG MY HEAD AGAINST A CEMENT WALL A FEW TIMES UNTIL I'M SEEIN' IN TREES. ANYWAY, THE FIRST HOUR OF THE MOVIE FELT LIKE AN INDY JONES FILM, BUT THE REST OF IT WAS A BUNCH OF BALONEY WRAPPED IN BULLSHIT. I'M NOT GOING TO SPOIL THE FILM FOR YOUZ, BUT IF YOUZ FEEL LIKE HAVIN' A DUMB ASS STUPID TIME GO SEE THIS MOVIE...BUT IF YOUZ R A HUGE INDY FAN, GET READY TO BE PISSED RIGHT THE FUCK OFF.
I GIVE THIS BULLSHIT 2 AND A HALF SARDINES 'CAUSE I LIKED HALF THE FLICK...
YOU CAN ADD GEORGIE BOY OVER 'ERE OF GUYS I'D LIKE TO PUNCH IN THE FACE!!!
Friday, May 23, 2008
RAW CRITIC'S BABE OF THE WEEK.....MEGAN FOX
You can see her next in the film "Jennifer's Body" :Jennifer (Megan Fox) is a popular cheerleader who becomes possessed by a demon that turns her into a flesh-eating monster. Her best friend must both end the creature's mad rampage and hunt down the Satanic rock band that summoned the demon in the first place.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Christian Bale (Officially) = John Connor In Three TERMINATOR Movies!!
Christian Bale is to play rebel leader John Connor in three sequels to the Terminator franchise, its producers have revealed.
The Welsh-born star, who is soon to be seen in Batman Begins sequel The Dark Knight, has already started shooting the first of those films, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins.
"He's really an actor's actor, so we're very proud," said Victor Kubicek of film company Halcyon.
Charlie's Angels director McG is directing the new film, which is due to be released on 22 May 2009.
"Christian was our first choice and he's a big fan of The Terminator, so we're very lucky," Kubicek told the BBC at the Cannes Film Festival.
"But with Batman he's already done the whole franchise thing, so we weren't sure he'd respond."
Luckily, said Kubicek's business partner Derek Anderson, "he read the script and he loved it, so he's signed on for all three."
US rap star Common will also have a lead role in the film, as will Australian actor Sam Worthington, who will soon be seen in Titanic director James Cameron's science-fiction epic Avatar.
Schwarzenegger played the Terminator in three blockbuster films
The producers would not reveal whether Arnold Schwarzenegger would reprise his role as the Terminator. Nor would they discuss character names or plot details.
"We can't talk about the story points at all," said Kubicek, adding the project was being kept strictly under wraps.
"Not everyone gets to see the script. They only see the part of the script that's relevant to the job they're doing."
But the producers promised not to disappoint fans of the time-travelling franchise, which has also spawned TV series The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
"We're both huge Terminator fans and we're just approaching it from the point of view of what we'd like to see," said Anderson.
"Any time we're feeling pressure we just take a step back and say, as fans, 'what would we like to see.
The Welsh-born star, who is soon to be seen in Batman Begins sequel The Dark Knight, has already started shooting the first of those films, Terminator Salvation: The Future Begins.
"He's really an actor's actor, so we're very proud," said Victor Kubicek of film company Halcyon.
Charlie's Angels director McG is directing the new film, which is due to be released on 22 May 2009.
"Christian was our first choice and he's a big fan of The Terminator, so we're very lucky," Kubicek told the BBC at the Cannes Film Festival.
"But with Batman he's already done the whole franchise thing, so we weren't sure he'd respond."
Luckily, said Kubicek's business partner Derek Anderson, "he read the script and he loved it, so he's signed on for all three."
US rap star Common will also have a lead role in the film, as will Australian actor Sam Worthington, who will soon be seen in Titanic director James Cameron's science-fiction epic Avatar.
Schwarzenegger played the Terminator in three blockbuster films
The producers would not reveal whether Arnold Schwarzenegger would reprise his role as the Terminator. Nor would they discuss character names or plot details.
"We can't talk about the story points at all," said Kubicek, adding the project was being kept strictly under wraps.
"Not everyone gets to see the script. They only see the part of the script that's relevant to the job they're doing."
But the producers promised not to disappoint fans of the time-travelling franchise, which has also spawned TV series The Sarah Connor Chronicles.
"We're both huge Terminator fans and we're just approaching it from the point of view of what we'd like to see," said Anderson.
"Any time we're feeling pressure we just take a step back and say, as fans, 'what would we like to see.
GUYS I'D LIKE TO PUNCH IN DA FACE!
This week i chose probably one of the biggest douche bags since Hitler.... GEORGE W. BUSH. I LOVE BUSH....BUT THIS BUSH WOULD OF CONVERTED CHARLES BRONSON TO GAY. LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON A BIG ONE TWO PUNCH TO THE BALLS TO EVERYONE IN THE WORLD. 9-11..... WAR.... POVERTY...... SKY ROCKETING GAS PRICES .....DEBT .......ETC. ETC...ALL BECAUSE OF THIS FUCKIN' GEEK. HE SHOULD BE TIED TO A POLE AT GROUND ZERO IN N.Y SO EVERYONE CAN GET A FREE PUNCH IN HIS FACE.
RAMBO, Which Used To Be Called JOHN RAMBO, May Be Called JOHN RAMBO Again!!
Dark Helmet sent this to us. Interesting that Stallone so pointedly references releasing a different iteration of his film when the theatrical version hits DVD & Blu-Ray...like...next Tuesday.
don’t know if you watched Leno last night, but he had Sylvester Stallone on to push the RAMBO DVD release. Sly announced during the interview that later on (hopefully this year but he didn’t give a time-frame) he will release a “Director’s Cut” of the film, and give it the original title JOHN RAMBO.
And now, as your mid-week picker-upper...
I WANT IT!!! I NEED IT!!!
don’t know if you watched Leno last night, but he had Sylvester Stallone on to push the RAMBO DVD release. Sly announced during the interview that later on (hopefully this year but he didn’t give a time-frame) he will release a “Director’s Cut” of the film, and give it the original title JOHN RAMBO.
And now, as your mid-week picker-upper...
I WANT IT!!! I NEED IT!!!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
MEMPHIS FUCKIN' BBQ
STOP THE FREAKIN' PRESSES....MEMPHIS BBQ IS THE PLACE TO BE...I WISH COULD BUY A HOUSE NEXT TO THIS JOINT SO I CAN EAT ALL MY MEALS OVER THERE... SURE I'LL PROBABLY END UP WEIGHIN' A FEW TONS AND MAYBE NEED A FEW BYPASSES BUT IT'S ALL WORTH IT ....THIS PLACE IS BY FAR IS THE GREATEST EATING EXPERIENCE ON THE PLANET. FOR 17 DOLLAZ YOUZ GETS:
King's Platter - A feast for a King
Dig into the ultimate platter of 3 Bones, 1/2 pound of sauced pulled pork, and 1/2 lb of wings$17.00
OR MY FAVOURITE 'CAUSE I LIKES THE RIBS
Big Boy Combo6 Bones and a Pound of wings
$19.00U MUST TRY THIS PLACE...I REPEAT.... U MUST TRY THIS PLACE....
http://www.memphisbbq.ca/home.html
I GIVE THIS PLACE 5 SARDINES OUTTA 5
NIAGARA FALLS STAG
Hey everybody hope youz had a good long weekend. I'm here today to tell you about my weekend in Niagara for my buddy's stag. Twelve of us went down there and stayed at the raddison hotel on sunday, the joint was awesome and the people who worked there were cool. After checkin' in and a few hundred shots of Jager my stomach began to rumble so it was time to feed it.
We headed down to "TONY ROMA'S" which is in the hotel, when i saw the sign which clearly said "ALL YOU CAN EAT RIBS" i ran in the joint. When i asked the waiter for ribs he said they ain't serving all you can eat ribs because of the long weekend...BULLSHIT!!! so i ordered the 12oz ribeye steak instead with mash. My buddies ordered the 8oz ny strip. An hour later the manager came to us and said they were out of garlic mash so i ordered fries. 15 minutes later the waiter came to bring us our food the stupid fuck didn't know the difference between a rib eye steak and a ny steak. If three outta the 4 steaks look the same the other one must be the rib eye. Anyways after me and my buddies exchanged steaks with the proper sides we all took a bite of our steak, we then noticed that our food was freakin' cold, my buddies baked potato wasn't even cooked. We complained to the manager and got 40 bucks off our bill but that ain't good enough in my books 'cause that won't help when we are on the toilet pissing from our asses.
TONY ROMA' "FAMOUS FOR SHIT FOOD" GETS 1 SARDINE HEAD OUTTA 5
After that shitty meal we headed off to "Cantina Charlies" night club what a shit hole... it was a pure cock farm. The only good thing about this place was the cheap drinks so it's worth going there and getting tanked before going anywhere else.
Then we ended up at DRAGON FLY night spot. Guido and Guida heaven. High priced drinks and the attitude to go with it. I felt like a sardine in this place, and don't get drunk 'cause you might get X'd which means they put an X on your hand with permanent marker and kick you outta the club. Our buddy got x'd and got thrown out just because he was drunk...hey so is everyone else in 'ere you cock nob!!! we finally found our buddy back at our hotel lobby all beaten up after he was dropped off by niagara's finest.
I was around good friend's so i had a good night overall.
The next morning after a few hours sleep we checked out and went for an all u can eat breakfast. My buddy picked up the tab after he won $1000 at the casino playing poker freakin' wasted.. Good Job.
Niagara falls can be fun if you go there with the right crowd drink the right drink and eat the right food, remember not to get X'd though because the locals there treat you like you have the EBOLA virus. 'till next time
Friday, May 16, 2008
NEW CARTOONS FOR US TO ENJOY
The Cleveland Show: No big surprises here. This Family Guy spinoff looks to be in line with the show that proceeded it, with the preview even joking about it having all the random pop culture references you'd expect. There were some funny moments, and if you like Family Guy, this looks to also deliver on a similar level. And yes, as the below picture shows you, Cleveland now lives next to bears.
Sit Down, Shut Up: Seeing Jason Bateman, Will Arnett and Henry Winkler together in behind-the-scenes footage, I longed to see Arrested Development return. But at least this new animated series comes from Arrested's Mitch Hurwitz, includes the three alumni from that show as voice actors, and based on the clips, is plenty funny. The unusual style involves animated characters in front of real backgrounds, as we follow the disgruntled staff at a school. Winkler has some of the best lines, as his despondent German teacher says, "If I believed in reincarnation, I'd kill myself," and "Is it my fault that German has no non-racist word for black people?"
Thursday, May 15, 2008
GUYS I'D LIKE TO PUNCH IN THE FACE!!!
THIS WILL BE A NEW WEEKLY THING HERE AT RAW CRITIC'S BLOG. "GUY'S I'D LIKE TO PUNCH IN THE FACE"...LET'S BEGIN SHALL WE?!
WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THIS GUY? THIS NON TALENTED DOUCHE BAG IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH CANADIAN TELEVISION.....I'D LOVE TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS TANNED PLASTIC FACE. OH YEAH AND DON'T FORGET HIS DAD BRIAN. THE GENIUS WHO GAVE US THE G.S.T AND FREE TRADE, BASICALLY THE GUY WHO FUCKED CANADA AND THE REASON I CAN'T AFFORD SMOKES. I'D LIKE TO LAND A HUGE PUNCH ON HIS OVER SIZED CHIN AND KNOCK HIM THE FUCK OUT.....'TILL NEXT WEEK.
BEN MULRONEY
WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT THIS GUY? THIS NON TALENTED DOUCHE BAG IS WHAT IS WRONG WITH CANADIAN TELEVISION.....I'D LOVE TO PUNCH HIM IN HIS TANNED PLASTIC FACE. OH YEAH AND DON'T FORGET HIS DAD BRIAN. THE GENIUS WHO GAVE US THE G.S.T AND FREE TRADE, BASICALLY THE GUY WHO FUCKED CANADA AND THE REASON I CAN'T AFFORD SMOKES. I'D LIKE TO LAND A HUGE PUNCH ON HIS OVER SIZED CHIN AND KNOCK HIM THE FUCK OUT.....'TILL NEXT WEEK.An Early Review of M. Night Shyamalan's THE HAPPENING
An Early Review of M. Night Shyamalan's THE HAPPENING
5/15/2008
Posted by Frosty ShareThis
"The Happening" is a terrible, terrible movie. I mean, it's bad on an epic scale. It's so bad that I can't possibly tell you how bad it is without understating the point or making it sound like I'm picking on the film. But let me stress: this is not pent-up Shyamalan aggression or a desire to see him fail. This is bad in a jaw-dropping "they can't really be serious, can they?" kind of way. The closest comparison I can draw is to Neil LaBute's "Wicker Man" and, like that film, the only consolation I can offer potential theater-goers is that you might want to see it just to be in on the ground floor when the film gets its ass handed back to it.
I can also throw out that I'm not certain if the version I saw was the final version. It certainly felt rough but compared pretty dead-on with what I remembered from the script. The score, certainly, was missing and while that can really work wonders in the final form, I can't imagine it coming close to saving "The Happening".
The story is relatively simple and I don't want to venture too far into spoiler territory. Picture "The Birds" without any birds, and that should give you a good idea of what Shyamalan seems to be going for. Suddenly and for seemingly no reason a neuro-toxin is released in the Northeastern United States that causes people to murder themselves in terrible ways. The effect sweeps through different towns and everyone races to escape, unsure of what's really going on. The lead, Mark Wahlberg, is a schoolteacher who is on the outs with wife Zooey Deschanel. They flee together with a few other strangers and try to figure out what has caused the deadly outbreak.
The most obvious fault in "The Happening" is the acting -- in particular Wahlberg's performance. I'm saying this with no hyperbole, but Wahlberg might very well give the worst performance I've ever seen in anything. He's that bad. His character is a passive aggressive high-school teacher and each line in delivered with nasally whines that sound like some strange parody. As bad as the rest of the movie is, Wahlberg is the part that the internet is going to eat alive. But is it really his fault? Wahlberg's proven himself with "I (Heart) Huckabees" and his amazing turn in "The Departed". I can't help but feel that Shyamalan -- intentionally or otherwise -- is ultimately to blame for forcing some truly awful line readings.
The rest of the cast is passable but nothing special. Zooey Deschanel is extremely cute but never really does anything that matters. She's very similar to a lot of female Shyamalan characters: the recent-love-that-didn't-work-out. John Leguizamo probably does the best job of maneuvering around clunky, awkward dialogue as another schoolteacher and friend to Wahlberg but he's also barely in the film and only really serves the purpose of, fairly early on, having Wahlberg and Deschanel watch after his little girl for the duration of the film.
I bring the acting up first only because it's the most damning aspect of "The Happening", but the pacing is issue number two. The film moves at a ridiculous speed and bits that seemed, on the page, like they'd be perfect for Shyamalan's slow, long-running shots are rushed through and made laughable. The opening -- which consists of a couple different scenes of people hurting themselves -- almost flashes by and instead of being genuinely disturbing, they're overly melodramatic and come off as fake. There's something scary about someone not realizing they're hurting themselves -- as we do see at one point through a cell-phone video of a man walking casually into a lion cage and being torn apart -- and something just plain stupid about forced shock like we get in a long, choreographed steadicam of people one by one shooting themselves, dropping the gun and letting the next person pick it up.
But this all just flashes by. There's a problem and we cut to a school where the students take unrealistically in stride that the world is pretty much ending. The characters are so far removed from reality that, when news of the disaster hits, it makes you wonder if Shyamalan ever stepped outside his house on 9/11. There's no panic or disorder and everyone freely accepts their information from the high school itself and goes home. No one's getting texts or making phone calls or demanding that someone explain what's happening.
Wahlberg and Deschanel take in Leguizamo's little girl while he goes off to look for his wife. There's all kinds of Spielberg "War of the Worlds" on the road bits, but they're segmented and awkward. They're on a train for a bit. They're in a diner for a bit. They meet a soldier for a bit. They come to a farmhouse with a trigger-happy farmer. Nothing really sticks out as interesting or meaningful and all the while Wahlberg makes up crazy, crazy theories about how the neurotoxin works without any real evidence or logic. And, of course, he's right.
Here's the bit that I'm honestly not sure if it's a spoiler or not so consider yourself warned: (highlight to read)
It's plants that are responsible. They've decided to wipe out humanity and release the neuro-toxin as their natural weapon. This was far, far more clear in the script (and even the title "The Green Effect") and I'm really of the opinion that it's a pretty neat idea, though. What Shyamalan quickly finds, though, is that it's very, very hard to menacingly cut to an evil-looking tree. That doesn't stop him from trying, though, and he inexplicably adds wind as a way of livening up the scenes. When the leaves of a tree start to blow, evil's afoot. It's really, really hard not to laugh at and there's even a real groaner of a gag-scene wherein Wahlberg timidly apologizes to a houseplant only to find that it's made of rubber. Really.
After moving way, way too fast over the interesting parts, there's an incredibly long and slow period where Mark, Zooey and little girl run afoul of a friendly old lady who instantly and for no particular reason explains that her house is of a bizarre architectural design (built for hiding slaves). She just sort of tells them this right off the bat and, believe it or not, it soon comes into play as a plot device.
If you're dreading the Shyamalan trademark twist-ending, you can breathe a sigh of relief. There's no twist whatsoever. But there's also no ending. I won't ruin it any further by talking about what's not there, but prepare to feel very, very cheated and figure out in advance what consultation you can offer when the person next you confusedly asks, "Is that it?"
Seeing a Shyamalan has become this horrifically abusive relationship where I desperately cling to the belief that if I keep loving him, he'll stop hitting me. I'm already telling myself that "The Last Airbender" will be fascinating because its an adaptation rather than an original creation. That'll help, right? Because "The Happening" just makes me want to cry.
I DIDN'T WRITE THIS SO I CAN'T GIVE IT A SARDINE RATING....
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
IRON MAN REVIEW
ME AND THE BOYS WENT TO THE AMC ON DUNDAS AND YONGE ST. TO GO WATCH IRON MAN LAST NIGHT. FIRST OFF, I'D LIKE TO SAY THIS NEW THEATRE IS FUCKIN' UNBELIEVABLE. THE SEATS WERE COMFORTABLE AND ATTACHED TO AT LEAST A 35-40 DEGREE ANGLED SLOPE WHICH IS PERFECT SO I DON'T HAVE TO STARE AT SOMEBODY'S HUGE MELON THROUGH THE WHOLE FREAKIN' MOVIE. THE HOT DOGS WERE TOP NOTCH, I HAD TWO COVERED IN MUSTARD WITH A HUGE POP.
I GOT THREE WORDS FO' YA, GO SEE THIS FUCKIN' MOVIE, I FREAKIN' LOVED IT, VERY ENTERTAININ'. SOME PARTS OF THE MOVIE YOU'LL SAY ARE NOT BELIEVABLE BUT I SAY FUCK YOU IT'S A COMIC BOOK. DOWNEY IS MY BOY AND AWESOME IN THIS MOVIE, PALTROW?...I'D THROW HER A BANG AND JEFF BRIDGES REMINDS ME OF MY POPS ON A GOOD DAY. I WAS ENTERTAINED AND THE HOT DOGS DIDN'T GIVE ME THE SHITS, SO THAT'S A GOOD NIGHT FOR ME. I GIVE THIS MOVIE EXPERIENCE:
4 SARDINES OUTTA 5
